I grew up in the desert – AKA Phoenix, Arizona. My family and I moved a lot during my elementary school years, which didn’t help my shyness. My dad was an alcoholic, making it difficult on our family. (Praise God, my dad is a Christ follower today. Clean and sober.)
Thanks to my two aunts, I accepted Christ when I was 9 years old. However my faith was tainted with additional religious rules. My first Bible had my own handwriting:
Do not wear black.
No rock music.
No dancing.
God wasn’t appealing to me as I grew up because I saw Him as a mean judge. I was sure He would take me out if I didn’t behave just right. My family didn’t attend church regularly. I attended church off and on and occasionally went to AWANAS with friends.
At age 7 and then again at 13, I was sexually abused. Both times by older men. Because of this I felt shameful, used, dirty and devalued. The abuse experience when I was 13 involved me and a friend where she was raped in front of me. She was twelve. 
After that experience, I gave up on there being a good, loving God. I could write pages about my experiences during my teens and early twenties.(But I’m trying to keep this short) I’ve been there, done that with most things. I was extremely insecure and focused on my body size to the point of obsession(I had a 24 inch waist but felt fat). Body image was a huge struggle for me.
I also tried the bar scene and sought attention of guys, but hated them at the same time. I felt depressed and unworthy, but I hid behind my laughter, stylish clothes, trendy make up and hair. I continued to make poor choices and found myself pregnant–unmarried, which led to my abortion and more shame.
A few months later I had breast implants, thinking I would fix my body image insecurities. No one was going to tell me what to do with my body again. Surgery made me feel plastic. Fake. A bigger bra size didn’t change my heart issue, so my body image issues continued.
The following year I got married to my current husband, Derek. I was emotionally unstable. I was wounded. We struggled during our early years of marriage. I had an emotional affair, which made me feel like a complete loser. I felt like I would never find help or hope because I kept repeating behaviors I hated about myself. I needed to break free from me.
A couple years later after a move to Colorado, we hit financial rock bottom and filed bankruptcy.
In 1996, our hard times led us to a Christian couple who invited us to church. A turning point!
Praise God, I’ve been walking with Him ever since. 
So has my husband.
However the first five years I felt like I was at an arm’s length from God. I didn’t feel worthy to come any closer yet I longed for intimacy and love.
By God’s grace, He led me to a desert place literally. We moved to a small town outside the city of Colorado Springs. There real change and healing began. I felt the Word came alive like never before. I heard from God personally. I felt undone by God’s love for the first time in forever. I danced, prayed, praised, fasted, sang, and felt His JOY over me.
There my writing journey began. Compelled to share what God was doing in my heart, I wrote devotions and emailed them to friends and family. They responded with encouragement, so I shared again.
I haven’t stopped since.
I thank God for His relentless pursuit for this once wild child. He has captured my heart for good. God’s done a mighty healing work in my heart and I am free! I love to share that freedom with others.
“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” Galatians 5:1(NIV).
Okay, there you have it. A Reader’s Digest version of my life.
In December 2009, I had the privilege of sharing my story to 96 incarcerated teen boys and girls and 15 of them said YES to Jesus. Talk about joy!
(See my speaker and writing links for more about me)
I live in Colorado Springs, Colorado with my husband Derek and two teenagers, Justin and Hannah. Every day the view of Pikes Peak reminds me of the greatness and majesty of Almighty God.
(vacation 2010, Grand Tetons and Yellowstone)
My life purpose statement is “I am a lens that helps people focus on what really matters.” And for me, that’s looking and listening for the ways God will surprise me with His love.
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