Did you know I’ve spent many months watching you on Facebook? Yep, quiet me, phone in hand, surfing away just about every hour. I’ve read your posts on productivity, procrastination or praise. Read your rants. Saw your vacation albums, saw you check in at your doctor appointment. Watched some of your videos.
Before I crawl out of bed, I’ve read what some of you ate for breakfast. By lunchtime, I’ve checked on you again(several times). Are you still talking to me? What will today bring us? More stress? Surprise joy? A tough diagnosis, a positive pregnancy test, a job offer? Or will I read of another wildfire?
Can you see me? Peeking into the window of your social life. Looking at pics of your newly decorated room, your book covers, your latest haircut, or your most recent camping trip. Lurking morning, noon, and night, and yes, even midnight if I can’t sleep. Sounds creepy, right? Well I feel creepy admitting this, but it’s true.
The crazy thing is I don’t even know some of you. I’ve never even met you in real life, but in some strange way, I feel like I know you. But are we really friends? Are you sharing the “real” you?
Oh and then to think there are millions of fake you’s out there. Who are you anyway? What do you want? And why are you watching me? Please don’t tell me we are actually “friends”.
No wonder I’m so tired. No wonder I can’t write anymore . No wonder I’m too emotionally exhausted to connect face to face anymore. Who wouldn’t be?
I’ve already had my social fix.
A thousand times over.
Every. Single. Day.
I finally hit my breaking point over the weekend. On the beach last week, I saw more Facebook updates than I did the Florida ocean waves right in front of me. Probably didn’t help that my community was (and still is) dealing with the Black Forest Fire. Didn’t help either that my neighborhood was on “pre-evacuation” status.
Well, I can’t live this way anymore. I need balance and boundaries again. I need a break from a stream of faces, photos, videos, ads, and statuses. I need to “get a life”. I want my own life back.
Truth is I knew this day would come. For months now, God has been asking me as I sift through my Facebook feed, “What are you looking for?”
Hmm, great question. What am I looking for?
I didn’t really know my answer, but now I know.
I was looking for love in all the wrong places. Again!
Did you know that’s my story of life? Ha. Looking for love in all the wrong places. Before turning my life back to God in my twenties, I went to bars looking for love. Let’s just say, that didn’t work. Don’t try it.
Logically I know online is not the place where I will find love. God is. But yet, I followed along and joined the club. Especially as a writer and speaker, I was taught by the experts to “create a tribe”(a group of like-minded friends). Develop a platform. Give. Engage. Be out there.
Funny thing is I never did create my own tribe because I was too busy watching yours.
Go ahead, laugh with me please. I feel like a comedy of errors.
(***So now what? This week I deleted my Facebook app from my phone and instantly felt lighter. Yay! But at the same time, I also feel bored, somewhat lost and even afraid. What will I miss if I don’t have your beautiful faces in my hand?)
To be continued tomorrow. . . (more real talk, more truth about me and Facebook)
(SPECIAL NOTE: If you are reading this from inside Facebook, please note I am probably NOT there to comment. My blog automatically feeds into Facebook and Twitter. And I’m not changing that because someone on Facebook may need to read this. If you would like to talk with me, please comment directly inside my blog. Or feel free to email me at email@example.com Thank YOU!)
It’s been a LONG time since I’ve blogged, so long I’ve almost forgot how to write a post. Wow, that’s unbelievable. But here I am sharing a 3 minute video because I feel it’s worth sharing.
Something to ponder.
What fills you up?
Is it God?
PS I hope to start blogging soon. We are finally closing in on our home remodel. What a relief! What a LONG and draining journey. And not everything on our to-do list will be done, but that’s okay with me. I’m over it. Actually I’ve been over it for months now. I’m tired. I want our ordinary lives back. I want peace. I want time with friends again. I want time to just sit and think without feeling behind on our house. Thankfully we’re going on vacation a couple times this summer–and soon. Yay! I’m in much need of revival, renewal and rest. But after that, I do plan on blogging because writing helps me heal. Plus it helps focus on what really matters: Jesus. Others. Love.
April 20, 2013 By Tiffany @ Tea w Tiffany
(email subscribers, find video here if you aren’t able to view)
I love when I see young people using their God-given talent to glorify Him. This video makes me cry, actually so does much of Christina’s music. She has such heart, passion and power in her voice..
May Christ Alone continue to inspire Christina to sing.
Find Christina on Twitter (love that she is not ashamed to profess Jesus is her rock in her description) here
Find Christina’s YouTube channel here
Love her version of I Dreamed a Dream from Les Miserables here
April 15, 2013 By Tiffany @ Tea w Tiffany
Praying for Boston. Praying for those at and in the marathon, for family members and friends not there yet,
for emergency workers, police, hospital teams, and our nation.
April 9, 2013 By Tiffany @ Tea w Tiffany
The book Life After Art by Matt Appling arrived in my mailbox at just at the right time. Don’t you just love when God makes sure you get a message when you need it most? I do. Because I needed to sit in Matt’s classroom as prepare my talks for a women’s retreat I’m speaking at this weekend.
Matt reminded me live on purpose (by faith), face my limitations and fears, and get out there create some beauty.
I highly recommend this book if you need a fresh reminder of the lessons you may have forgotten since elementary art class. Matt is a great teacher. His wise words still have me thinking. He challenged some of my beliefs, in a good way. Funny thing is I consider myself creative and I love learning from children, but I never expected to find myself hiding among his pages.
I can’t wait to reread this book starting next week. Yes, you read correct, I’m rereading this one. But this time around I need my highlighter and a pen for deeper reflection.
Some life lessons are worth repeating.
Visit Matt Appling’s website for more information HERE.
PS I hope to write a more detailed post about my discoveries after my retreat and my second read.
(I received this book as part of Appling’s book launch, but I am in no way required to give a positive review. This is my honest feedback. )