Some trust in chariots and some in horses,
but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.
Psalm 20:7 (NIV)

Confession: I have a trust issue. I don’t completely trust God with everything in my life. I’m better at trusting God with YOUR LIFE.

When I get real before the LORD, I admit my unbelief. I hate the reality of my stubborn heart sometimes. Even after all I’ve gleaned from God’s Word, even after I’ve heard His sweet whisper over and over, even after the body of Christ has encouraged me time and time again, I’m still prone to unbelief. What’s up with that?

Unbelief grabs my trust and puts it in a choke-hold, and I won’t do hard things for God. Even when He asks nicely. Like write a book. Hmm, God isn’t letting me off the hook here after almost three years. He’s serious and I’m a modern-day doubting Thomas. Instead of going forward with perfect trust, I sit back and give excuses:

*I’m the least qualified.
*I’m too simple minded.
*I have attention issues. I often don’t finish what I start.
*I often forget what God has taught me, so how can I possibly help another?
*What if the words I write fall short?
*My story isn’t all that special or dramatic.
*What if people can’t finish the book?
*What if my chapters are self absorbed?
*What if I’m not deep enough? What if I’m too deep?
*What if I’m theologically incorrect?
*What if no one ever publishes it? Is this between You and me, LORD?God, why me? Isn’t there someone more put together, more polished? What if I’m secretly trying to steal Your glory, God? Please no, I can’t go there…

Yes, I see the flaws in my excuses above, but that doesn’t change my heart. Funny thing is I can offer faith filled advice to others when it comes to trusting God. I encourage them to step out in faith and watch God show up, offering words like, “Whoever God calls, He equips.” Wouldn’t it be nice if I would believe my own advice? Ha.

I’m not sure why I’m writing this here today. This is something I’d normally save for my handy dandy notebook. Maybe someone out there understands my battle for complete trust. Maybe like me, you’re tired of unbelief. Maybe like me, trusting God for everyone else, but not for yourself.

If so, I think it’s time we dump our unbelief once and for all, and latch onto trusting God with everything we have: a mustard size seed of faith.

After all, God is trustworthy.
God is trustworthy.
God is trustworthy.
Amen?

Today, let us cry out like the father in Mark 9:24, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”

(pic taken in Bozeman, MT last week)